Syrian airlines...

Came across this today and found it funny. Hope you like it.

zis is your captain Jasim welcoming both seated and standing bassengers
on board of Syrian Air

We abologize for z four days delay in taking off, it was due to bad
weazer and some overtime I had to but in at z bakery baking Kaak.

zis is flight 717 to Damascus Airbort. Landing zer is not guaranteed,
but we will end up somewhere in Syria. And, if luck is in our favor, we
may even be landing on your village !

Syrian Air has an excellent safety-record. In fact, our safety standards
are so high, zat even terrorists are afraid to fly wiz us!

It is wiz bleasure; I announce zat, starting zis year, over 30% of our
bassengers have reached zeir destination.

If our engines are too noisy for you, on bassenger request, we can
arrange to turn zem off in order to make sure you are feeling
comfortable!

We regret to inform you, zat today's in-flight movie will not be shown
as we forgot to record it from z television. However, for our movie
buffs, we will be flying right next to Somalia Airlines, where zeir
movie will be visible from z right side of z cabin window.

zere is no smoking allowed in zis airblane. Any smoke you see in
z cabin is only z early warning system on z engines telling us to slow
down!
In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as close as
bossible for z best view. If however, we go a little too close, do let
us know.

Our enthusiastic co-bilot sometimes flies right through z landmark!

Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an ubright bosition for take-off and
fasten your seat-belt. For zose of you who can't find a seat-belt,
kindly fasten your own belt to z arm of your seat . And, for zose of you
who can't find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch wiz a stewardess
who will exblain how to fasten yourself to your suitcase.

sanking you all for choosing Syrian Air to fly for z first and last
time,

I Wish you a nice trib,

Regards from ..

Captain Jasim